A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years.As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses heron the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us.Be strong, honey. I love you."To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.Be strong, honey, I love you, too."
Friday, December 5, 2008
Will this be me one day?
An unemployed biologist was having considerable difficulty in finding a new job. He finally saw an add in a local newspaper for a position at a zoo. In the interview, the manager told him that their only gorilla, which had been a star attraction, had recently died, and it would be sometime before they could replace it. Meanwhile, they needed someone to dress up as a gorilla and pretend to be the animal. The biologist was quite embarrassed, but, being desperate for money, he accepted the job. The next day, the biologist put on a gorilla skin and headgear and entered a cage from a rear entrance. Visitors smiled at him and threw bread. After a while, the biologist really got into the act. He jumped up and down, beat his chest and roared as people cheered. The following day, the biologist entered the wrong cage by accident and found himself staring at a lion. The lion roared and rushed toward him. The scared biologist turned and ran, while screaming, "Help! Help!" The lion leaped onto the gorilla, knocked him to the ground and whispered in his ear, "Hey, it's me Leonard, your former co-worker. Shut up or we'll both lose our jobs!"
My last quote.....
"The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible."
-By Oscar Wilde
Did you know....
Atomic clocks are quite complex, but the basic theory is simple: the transitions of a cesium atom as it moves back and forth between two energy levels are counted to keep time
The basenji, an African wolf dog, is the only dog that cannot bark.
The first film director to discover Hollywood was D.W. Griffith, who filmed In Old California there in 1910. California was ideal for early films partly because its reliable weather and bright sunlight - but also because it was as far as possible from Thomas Edison, who held most of the patents relating to motion pictures.
Dementia is not inevitable as you age. An American study of centenarians (those who reach the age of 100) found that 30 per cent of them worldwide reach the age of 100 cognitively intact. Unfortunately, that does mean that if you reach the age of 100 there is a 7 in 10 chance that you will suffer from dementia.
Skydivers reach a terminal velocity of about 120 miles per hour (190 km/hr) if they spread eagle themselves to maximise their air resistance, but a velocity of 150 mph (240 km/hr) if they assume a head-down position like a high-board diver about to enter the water.
The basenji, an African wolf dog, is the only dog that cannot bark.
The first film director to discover Hollywood was D.W. Griffith, who filmed In Old California there in 1910. California was ideal for early films partly because its reliable weather and bright sunlight - but also because it was as far as possible from Thomas Edison, who held most of the patents relating to motion pictures.
Dementia is not inevitable as you age. An American study of centenarians (those who reach the age of 100) found that 30 per cent of them worldwide reach the age of 100 cognitively intact. Unfortunately, that does mean that if you reach the age of 100 there is a 7 in 10 chance that you will suffer from dementia.
Skydivers reach a terminal velocity of about 120 miles per hour (190 km/hr) if they spread eagle themselves to maximise their air resistance, but a velocity of 150 mph (240 km/hr) if they assume a head-down position like a high-board diver about to enter the water.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Today's Quote of the Day
I've been studying faithfully for the past two days and tomorrow I will take my first final for the semester. Some of the information is really complicated and I'm getting really frustrated trying to memorize the information so today's quote represents my struggle.
"Human memory is a marvelous but fallacious instrument. The memories which lie within us are not carved in stone; not only do they tend to become erased as the years go by, but often they change, or even increase by incorporating extraneous features."
By Primo Levi
Now do you think professors will give us a break? I guess not, huh :-(
More Fun Facts I Learned Today
The process of photosynthesis traps energy from the Sun and stores it in chemical bonds in carbohydrate molecules, most notably in the six-carbon sugar called glucose.
The most accurate clocks in the world are the new atomic fountain clocks, in which thousands of extremely cold atoms are tossed gently into a vacuum chamber, where they fall under gravity's pull. The vibrations of the atoms at the top of the fountain are measured, where they are practically motionless for a fraction of a second before they fall.
Duplication in the human genome is more extensive then it is in other primates. About 5% of the human genome consists of copies longer than 1,000 bases.
The earthquake that rocked South-central Alaska on March 27, 1964, was the second-largest ever recorded. The magnitude 9.2 earthquake trails only a 9.5 recorded in Chile in 1960.
The second according to atomic time is defined as exactly 9,192,631,770 oscillations or cycles of the cesium atom's frequency. This replaced the old second that was defined in terms of the earth's motions.
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